Intersexed dating site
Medically speaking, intersex is defined as a congenital anomaly of the reproductive and sexual system.
Katrina Karkazis, a senior research scholar at the Center for Biomedical Ethics at Stanford University, says that in most cases, people have a genetic mutation that affects development of sex organs.
This is most often done to present the child as female because of doctors' beliefs that it's an easier outcome to achieve with available medical techniques.
This often entails surgeries to remove testes, reduce organs that might present as a small phallus or an outsized clitoris, or add a vaginal cavity.
They arrived in the world with genetic mutations that affect them at intimate levels, and were taught to believe, often since birth, that their very existence is a condition that needs to be corrected.
Activists like Bo Laurent, Jim Ambrose and Pidgeon Pagonis have made it their mission to guide people with intersex traits and differences of sex development, known as DSD, toward understanding their own worth in the world.
To parents -- shocked and confused by anatomy they don't understand, and envisioning a life of otherness and romantic rejection for their newborn -- surgery to "normalize" can seem like the most loving course of action.
"The end goal wasn't that I would be a sexually satisfied woman, or a person who was curious about other forms of sexuality. My personal sexual pleasure wasn't taken into account.""Imagine for a moment that you want to connect with someone sexually, and you feel nothing sexual in your genitalia. I know people who have tried everything under the sun and have even contemplated more surgery. But after Ambrose struck up a friendship with Laurent, he used her framework of disclosure to amplify attempts at connection.Medical professionals were "in a state of shock" for three days, unable to determine what sex she was, and her mother was kept sedated.Laurent was eventually labeled a boy, and her parents were dismissed from the hospital, unable to seek additional child care, lest their secret get out.When she was 1½ years old, another doctor decided to change her sex assignment so she could be raised as a girl."They performed a clitorectomy and they told my parents to move to another town and not tell anyone where they went and never tell me what happened," Laurent says.
"All those things were so traumatizing, frightening and pain-producing for my parents that it made it hard for them to relate normally to me."Alienated from her parents, withdrawn from her peers and deeply disconnected from her medically numbed and scarred body, Laurent avoided romantic and intimate connection with partners well into her 20s. The discovery of her intersex status finally offered a path into the world.I wanted to date women who were going to desire me as a man. I wanted a woman to see me from across the room and say 'Yeah, I want to f*** that guy,' before they knew anything about me."He adopted Laurent's technique of presenting his story honestly and early, telling prospective partners, "I work at this bookstore, but mostly I do advocacy work and it sends me around the country and I organize and do workshops and I sit on committees and I do fundraising for this little organization and ... Well, because it happened to me." "To couch it that way informs the listener -- often a potential sexual partner -- that I care what you think, but I know enough about myself to know that if you want to perceive me as a victim, cry for me, be disgusted by me or get up and leave, you can do all of those things.