Lesbian or bi dating

09-Jan-2020 16:40

"The biggest barrier I've found with queer-aimed distance-based apps is that not enough folks sign up to make it work," says Minneapolis-based cartoonist Archie Bongiovanni, a contributor to queer-women-focused site Autostraddle.

"If there are only 12 people in your community on the app that are within 50 miles, it's not going be functional.

As she points out, casual sex scripts of "let's smash and then not ever see each other again" are admittedly a bit harder to follow when you and your sex partner have only two or three degrees of separation.

Yates points out that the lack of an app that functions like Grindr for queer people may have to do with interpersonal patterns: "I wonder if it has less to do with ideas about queer sex and more with how queer women and people approach each other," she says. — which gets even more complicated if you add non-monogamy and kink and alternative relationship styles."At the same time, Yates admits that this nebulousness "is also sort of freeing, as much as it can be a pain if you're just trying to smash.

Still, not every community enjoys access to the same range of options.

There's often a nebulousness — is this a sex date? "Even on Tinder, you have to wade through so much other stuff if you're just looking for a hookup," Dera says, echoing Yates's assessment.She names a few examples: "Where do the lines around that community fall? Do you welcome genderqueer and nonbinary folks and trans men?How do you allow folks of all sexualities and genders to feel seen and validated and included, while also creating a space free from cis straight dudes?"HER is swarming with TERFs [trans exclusionary radical feminists]," says Amanda Rodriguez, a 27-year-old in Oakland, California.

The failure of many hookup apps to navigate gender identity and sexuality with sensitivity can create problematic experiences for users who feel that these apps don't reflect who they are and what they're looking for.

"I never downloaded HER because I saw a 2.6-star review and ran away," Dera says.

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